Jinbeizamezama

SO. Haven't been on in a while. Obviously. Sorry. Missed you guys. Hmm. 

See, thing is, prepare for a bunch of excuses, but, being a senior there's like, a looot of things stressing the hell out of me. Mainly college things. And I did not have the spoons to draw/write things and freak out about college and future plans at the same time. Graduation is rapidly arriving and it is pretty damn scary. I thought I could deal with both but apparently I am weaker than I thought I was, hehe. 

BUT! Much of that stress is gone now, namely college acceptance and some senior plan things. So! I will probably actually start doing things again. 

Again! Very sorry about like, not being active, at all. Mechya gomen ne. But I should be better now summer is soon and that makes me a happy Feerie. 

Actually I have been drawing a lot but mostly random sketchbook sketches.

AND! Mechya gomen again for hardly talking to anyone, really have only been talking to a few people because talking to more than one person at a time is a bit stressful on me when, things are, stressful. Do not ask me why it is just how odd ol Ging works. IF I HAVE NOT BEEN TALKING TO YOU; It does NOT mean I hate you or anything! I have just been busy freaking out. Had quite an incredible meltdown yesterday, still feel sick from it. But that is over now I am k c: 


Working on some things, actually, although over half of them are long-term things that will take, a long time. I don't know how soon that will be available to you guys.

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Plus! A little bit of advertising here for one of my most very favourite humans. So GummyDragon and I have been doing an au rp with Jeff and Kagekao where they are in college. Take note, this is an au, so there are lots of changes, obviously. Kage's maybe like, 19 or 20, so is Jeff, I think. Kage's a human because it would be hard for a weirdo like him to get into college and Jeff is normal Jeff for the same reason. And it is an au so anything can happen. Heeheheheh. I am currently working on the design for Kage's human self and I do have pictures that I will post. Don't you think this is an opportunity to see his uncovered face though, that's still a secret. Hehehehe. Although by now it's pretty damn easy to figure out what his face looks like. Whatever. 

Anyway the point of this little tangent, Chi has been a very cool person and has adapted some of the rp into a story format and the reason why I bring all of this up is I figured some of you would want to read it. Although in my opinion this first section is no where near as exciting as the second section. This is a, very, fun, rp. Heads up. We enjoy it very much thought you guys might like it too.

Here you go  NakamaFinals. The word was enough to make him shiver. Or was it the fact that he felt like he was going to pass out? What was it, like, one am? Jeff checked his phone. Three am. Damn it. He resisted the urge to throw the phone across the room and set it down with a light tap beside his open history textbook. Tomorrow was his first final and like an idiot he hadn’t managed to study enough for his liking so here he was in the below ground floor of the library studying at three in the goddamn morning hoping he might be able to pull a miracle out of the textbook and save it for the test the next day. Today. Whatever.
Oddly enough he wasn’t alone here. There was one other kid in the room, also with a book in front of him, but he didn’t look as frantic as Jeff did, more bored. He had short but fluffy black hair that lightly trailed back from his forehead to the back of his head in a puffy peak that looked like it’d be fun to squish. Even from here Jeff could tell he was for

Also because Kage is younger his English is not as good at it is now. So, he speaks a lot of Japanese, partially because only one other person can understand him [Akadoku is his roommate, but he doesn't appear until later] and he enjoys messing with people but also because English eh. And this is written from Jeff's point of view [not, first person but, from his, side?], so there's no translation. But that's okay it's just part of the fun. If you want to know what certain things say then read the description of the story ne, Japanese practice for those who want Japanese practice. 

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Anyways, hopefully this will not be another instance where I say I'm going to do things and then get distracted by angry silver rioreusu!! I will try my best I swear to the jar of bubbles on my desk. Love you guys! 

If you're curious as to what mechya gomen means it basically means hella sorry. Mechya is pretty much the Japanese variant of hella. The more you know. [that is what the title says, hella sorry]

Ayo little embarrassed about this but, apparently some sections of comments have disappeared from my message box, I think I accidentally deleted them but I don't remember a thing, ahahaahhahehhahah . . . 

What I'm more concerned about here is the Ask questions, yes that is not dead I've recently been looking for a question to spark inspiration to start it up again. And basically all of the questions disappeared. Idk how long they've been gone though 'cause I haven't been too active lately.

Soo if you've asked a question in the past, idk, 3 months that you really really really want answered then ask it again, and please try to ask something interesting not just hey if we met irl could we be friends I need something to work with here like, um, idk, what would happen if Splendorman turned into a giant fish. idek. 

_{fights keep happening on my innocent little journals and picture of cat let's see if it'll happen again ahahahahaha . . .}

Yoo thank you for all the happy birthdays ;w; love you guys. Sorry but I'm not going to reply to every one of them because it'll be pretty much the same thing again and again myah, but seriously though love you guys c:

Sorry haven't been on too much, lots of things happening/happened and on top of that I am addicted to skyrim again, and monster hunter.

I do want to draw again though but I never seem to find the time between the school and the, dragon fighting. 

Can't think of anything else to say so thank you guys again and love you guys <3 

EDIT: ALSO! [putting this at the top because why not] please don't go around saying that I wouldn't be around if it weren't for a specific person. Yes a year or two ago I did have suicidal-ish thoughts but what solved that was many things including you guys as a whole so don't go around giving one person credit. If I had to pick one person or something then I'd just give it to daft punk. Don't want to single out one person because then it's like ooooh you saved my liiiiiife I totally owe you now. 

okay so, I guess I just got to address this issue right now. giving me a whole lot of stress tbh but I guess I shall, please don't be dicks because that's what I'm scared of rn but you guys are lovely people so idk why i'm scared but I am hahaha 

also it is about 4 am right now and i'm stressed af and very tired and very cold and very panic attacky so typos and improper punctuation and shit like that don't mind me please thank you

what I am talking about is the thing that was talked about on the picture of my harukins sleeping here is the comment thing if you are curious comments.deviantart.com/1/5027…

tbh I read that and then had a panic attack so I had to calm down by playing monster hunter to daft punk and MCR for three hours. I killed 23 large monsters are you proud of me I'm proud of me looool 

but, yeah. gender thing. Idek how to say this but, idk. I've recently come out as agender. Well, I've only told like, five people idk, special people who understand I guess? Inner circle. inner inner circle. Because the thought of telling anyone else freaked the hell out of me for reasons I cannot understand but if people are going to be dicks about it then I thought I'd just say it. 

If you don't know what agender is, it's when one doesn't identify with either genders male/female and just feel like, a person I guess. Non-binary. [I think, I always get non-binary and binary mixed up tbh] so me, I feel like nothing. just me. little person here. drawing robots. tryin' ta be happy. I still go by she/her pronouns, so you can still say 'this is ginga's picture she likes robots' but please don't say 'this is ginga's picture she's a girl who likes robots' because, idk I just really don't feel comfortable with words like girl/sister/etc idk they've always just, felt wrong to me. I guess. I've only recently learned of things like agender so up until about last year I was just kind of okay I don't really feel like I fit the word girl but everyone else is fitting in to their genders so okay

so she/her pronouns, but tbh I think I'll be alright if you say he/his, I've gotten used to being called a him because the majority of my video game people are males. the only thing I'm not okay with is being called an it, because 'it' reminds me of scary clowns. If you did not know, I am not a scary clown. 

so, yeah. agender me. yay. if you don't like it you can, idk, go get eaten by a khezu. if you do not know what a khezu is, a khezu is a monster hunter monster that looks like a large disgusting electric dick with wings. you don't want to touch one they're ew. 

again please don't be intolerant jerks love you if you're cool with it if you want to be a dick then go fuck yourself. there's only so far you can push me until i snap and push you right into the rathalos's mouth. _{i have been playing too much monster hunter can you tell}



EDIT: You guys are so sweet I love you tbh I didn't think it would be a big deal at all but people started fighting and being rude and that freaked me out. It's not a big deal to me tbh, well, it is for /me/ personally because I'm the one dealing with it, but it's not a big deal to you guys or anything. But yes love you guys thanks a whole lot for the support c: 
 

Merry Christmas friends

yes it is two days later but idec

tbh I had no ideas on anything christmas related, a few winter-related but no christmas, but literally five minutes before sitting down to write this I had an idea so, I'll get to working on that in a little bit. For now I'll just put up a  picture of a cat because she's being cute. 

Also I haven't checked my messages in, a long long time now, mostly because I've been inactive as hell but, once I post the new christmas thing I'll be taking the time to go through the messages. If you get a reply from me on a comment that was made like a month ago then, yeah. That'll be an old reply don't feel too obligated to reply back.

but yeah hope everyone had a good christmas, it doesn't feel too much like christmas here because no snow and it's not as big in Japan but hey, it's a fun time so have fun and don't get sick because of cold